cause

No. I'm not going to be your bootycall at 3am. Didn't work the first time, won't work this time either. Lose my number.

No, I'm not going to answer your text. No, not even after you send a few more asking why I'm not answering.

No, I don't want to be the other woman. You have a good one. You're engaged!

No, I don't feel that way about you, sorry. And no, asking me over and over won't change it.

No, I don't believe that the girl you apparently love would appreciate you cheating on her, even if her sex-drive is almost non-existent and she doesn't initiate ever. Medical reasons or not - it's your decision to be with her.

No, it's not all about you.

And yes, these were all from different men.

Maybe being single isn't all that bad...

it changes like that

The grass is by far more greener...

Summer

The thing that rocks about this city is the water, oh and the mountains, right, ya, and well, mainly in the summer. In the winter, we have around 8 months of rain, which is why it's so green.

Last night I was over at Kris' parent's cabin with a couple of her friends and we went jumping into the ocean.

It was beautiful! Strangely enough, the water though cold... wasn't that bad - especially since we got out and it was still around 20 degrees. Beautiful!

And it felt great after working out in the sun with a few of my girlfriends and a buddy from Muay Thai.

It's awesome. She managed to take a video of her beau jumping in - and with me laughing HORRIBLY as he jumped in.

Bad laugh K, bad laugh.

Um, thanks Kris for tagging me, ha!

Tonight is supposed to be even warmer and tomorrow... a few degrees cooler which is great. I'll be spending a huge part of my day on the beach seeing as I'm actually taking a day off training - shocking! I know!

And keep in mind, this was at 8pm at night.

Now ask me in November how I feel and I'm sure I'll be slagging this city like nobody's business ;)

Happy Friday!

health care?

Yes, Canada has universal health care.

And yes, now it looks like the US is going to that direction as well.

The thing I find interesting is all the news about all the taxes that are going into place to do this.

Every report I've read (online, so that might be why, ha!) has been attacking the tax consequences of this. Um, well, ya, obviously it's gonna cost a lot of money...

I pay taxes in order to have this type of coverage and I have some money every paycheck that comes off so that I have this type of coverage.

Ok, my coverage rocks - cause I have a great job that pays part of this and I pay the other 1/2 so that I'm covered for ah, everything?

I didn't pay for my tonsils last year. I don't pay for checkups. If I get into an accident while travelling, anywhere, I'm covered. I had my bloodwork checked, had x-rays done on my knee when I thought there was something wrong with it.

My physio appointments cost me $10 per time (I pay 20% of my visits up to $100 then they are covered 100%, wahoo!). I know I don't have the norm... but mainly the basics are covered for most people.

Case in point - a friend of mine from work was talking about a medical issue a friend of hers had in Vegas. He somehow managed to have a blood clot work it's way through to his lungs - it was spread everywhere and when a nurse finally suggested further testing, there was an emergency surgery and he stayed down for 10 days.

The Canadian side of our health care was really freaked out by this - on their end - seeing as the costs in the States are huge in comparison to what it costs here. For him to stay down there for 10 days was estimated around $500,000. He was accompanied by a nurse and his mom was even flown down from Ontario to be with him through the ordeal.

What was his bill?

Nothing.

The cost to the insurance company was huge, but because he has coverage for travelling like I do (and a lot of corporations up here - though you can get travel insurance for about $6 a day if you don't have it), he paid nothing - and lived.

So ya, I can understand why this is such a big deal. But the negativity towards it is a bit hard to understand since this is a HUGE issue for lower income families. Now that the higher income families are going to be taxed a bit more (OK, let's be realistic, I don't much of a clue on what your tax levels are the States, perhaps I will google the tiered system, cause now I'm curious)... you too will be able to not have to sell your house to pay for surgery that you weren't aware of that you needed in order to have a happy healthy life.

I don't know. I think I just appreciate the stuff here - granted, the waiting sucks.

I waited 2 months for my tonsil surgery.

Granted - emergency surgery is pretty quick.

To each their own, but I think maybe it might be nice to see maybe one article on how this will positively affect the US?

Maybe I'm just a bit too uneducated on this matter to know any better?

Perhaps, but it'll be interesting to see how it all pans out.

some wine with that cheese?

My night ended up being way too long, up way too late and I'm sure I'll be paying in a few hours... oh, thank goodness for coffee, tea, and whatever I can find in my drawer.

Oh and the anticipation of a lunch later with a friend :)

Anyways, yesterday seemed to go through all the stages...

After a lovely class of Pilate's, I found out my biking plans were changed to drinking instead. Ok.

Brenda was wanting some girl time with me and J, so that was the plan for later in the evening.

I got to meet a newborn. For those who know me here - newborns kinda scare me. They don't look like much - for the most part, and everything is new and fresh and though you can't not hold a newborn and want to kiss it's head... and for some reason automatically sway back and forth as you hold said baby... They are fragile.

She was well - I'd like to say she's beautiful, cause I'm sure she is. Actually she is. She's little and has all her toes and all her fingers and a beautiful name, and caring parents who are beautiful people. She's little. When she's a bit older, I know I'll enjoy her more.

I care about her mom a lot and it was great seeing her so happy. She wanted this child more than anything, and after a 50 hour labour, that's right people, 50 hours... she was born.

Apparently being fit didn't work in her benefit.

Her body didn't allow her to relax enough to let the baby drop properly.

She was in better shape than me before she was preggers and worked out a few times a week, even just light cardio and weights and my all-time favourite, push ups.

Watching her do push ups (cause we worked out together once a week from March on) was the funniest thing ever. Here's a girl who had a fairly good 4pack to 6 pack on her knees (cause of the weight) doing push ups on the floor of her gym. Her abs would 'hug' the baby til it formed a triangle.

Ya, that strong. It always made me giggle. She referred to it as her 'baby hammock.'

Anyways, that was the new.

New baby. Her husband made me dinner as we caught up between feedings and yawning and gossiped about training and all the characters involved in it. You can find drama anywhere if you look for it - and well, most extra curricular activities that involve more than one person seem to have a bit here and there.

She was just amused that a mutual friend has started drama already at the new school. She looked at me: Shocking K!

Then laughed.

It was good though. I know that seeing the baby really mad me realize that I can't even imagine being at that stage of my life. When will I be there - do I want to be there.

I have this life that I love right now and though having a stable boyfriend, someone there to rely on will be nice when it happens... I'm not feeling the pressure - only when I'm pmsing, lol!

But it's good to see the joy and happiness from people who deserve it.

I headed over to Brenda's after.

Her personal life is a bit amusing - to say the least - as she's quite boy-like when it comes to her relationships.

J and I drank and laughed at her with her concerns, though some valid, others are quite amusing.

It's funny how one glass turns to 3, to 5... then all of a sudden it's 11:30 at night...

And it took me awhile to fall asleep.

Though it was tiring, my body probably hurts less than it would have if we had gone biking :)

I guess we're all allowed a day off right? ha!

here and there

Have you ever thought about someone, cause there was something you were sort of dying to tell them, cause you know no one else would get it, or appreciate it as much?

Then they contact you? And it's for something completely different, but they were probably thinking the same?

I always find that interesting. It's like we know, lol!

Anyways moving on...

I'm sore. And I hurt one of my fingers - or someone in my class last night hurt one of my fingers. And my weekend is catching up. I'm tired. And the idea of how much I want to do this week is already tiring me out.

Yep, obviously I do it to myself. But in the moment it's great. My class last night was so much fun and I love the people I work out with. One of my buddies there was loving the fact that his partner was flirting with me. And... he looks way too much like Kby. We're talking they could be siblings... and yes, it's creepy. My buddy says to me - you know, it's like kby 2.0

And yes, I tend to have a type, LOL!

I've been made fun of this in the past, and I know I have it - I like tall and dark and athletic. So sue me. I remember once M went out with the brother of a guy I dated - I thought the brother was gorgeous. No idea what he's like as a person, but she hung out with him one night and told me later that she thought it was hilarious how much he looks like Kby.

Fine. Issues. And no, I won't be going out with this guy, he's lovely, but has his own issues, and he's very aware and well, I don't want to, lol.

I think I've learned my lesson. I mean, come on! How many guys do I need to date who are at in-between stages of their lives! NOT the next one.

There's something to be said about self improvement, but the lost look that I tend to attract - it's obviously my issue.

My roommate was even saying after she met thedad the other day about how he has that look about him - in his eyes - of the unsure-ness in his life.

Yep.

And why do they like me? Cause I'm stable and I like to help.

It's stupid isn't it.

Well, fortunately I think the last relationship sort of taught me that, not only taught it to me, dug it in me, stabbed me with the info and stamped it on my forehead.

When it comes down to it - it's our sanctuary, though we're only there 2 times a week and it's a huge class, sometimes it makes things complicated. I'd rather just enjoy.

And that i will.

enjoy ;)

not a long weekend

I think between the last month, having a bunch of three-day-weekends, this one came and went too quickly.

I'm sure the fact that I had maybe an hour or two of downtime the entire weekend didn't help with this...

Friday night I headed to watch some bands play, which was interesting... The bands were ok, my company was better, and in the end, the crowd was amusing.

Saturday was a couple of hours of training - did my first ground class at my dojo - which was actually great fun, submissions and take downs and I'll need to practice if I'm going to remember anything. I was talked into the class since I wasn't planning on going until the fall - I really don't want to put another few hours of training into my schedule at this point. When the weather turns, i'll want it for sure!

Anyways, it was good though. 1/2 the class were beginners for the second class, so it wasn't as intense as usual, meaning I don't have any black eyes today. Good :)

And because it was UFC100 that night, the afternoon was filled of fight talk with my martial arts friends before splitting off to our respective pubs and texting between bouts as well, we would have preferred watching together, but distance was a slight factor on top of a few other things.

Anyways, they were AWESOME! There ended up being about 7 of us in total - one last minute joiner friend of T's...

Though I think we paid way too much to watch them, the fights did NOT disappoint.

The crowd was the most amusing though...

I don't think I have seen so many 'Affliction' T-shirts in my life -a few 'Tapout's and the odd other T from a fighting company.

Behind us was the ex of a close friend of mine... which was beyond weird as me and T just looked - cause I think he recognized her for sure... he only met me once and that was quite awhile ago...

She was supposed to join us, but in the end, I'm fucking grateful that she couldn't make it as... it would have been beyond uncomfortable for her.

I guess it's true- UFC does bring out some of the freaks :)

Ok, they rocked though. One of my friends there doesn't follow much at all, a couple watch here and there and two of them are super hard core fans of the show.

Me? The lone martial -artist, lol. Though that just meant that I got a bit more excited when they were doing stuff I really really understood and you know... have done, lol!

Granted, much easier to hit the person next to me in excitement who can actually take it, LOL!

One of my buddies texted me who was at a pub with non-martial arts people: I stood up and cheered my lungs out. I'm soooo drunk too.

- funny, cause I almost did the same, less drunk :)

BB was at home with her new addition - a little girl she had last week, so no UFC at her place, and L was in Nelson at a wedding - hense texting back and forth with most of my usual UFC watchers.

Ah, missed them :) Next month though!

The night ended with me, Brenda and J hanging out for another hour chatting and catching up. It's been awhile since the three of us have hung out and we had a great time!

Then, up early for outriggering. 9am, glorious weather as we watched a wedding around 10am beside us, and all the dogs running around the park.

It was glorious.

I was really sore after though.

The rest of the day was relaxing on the beach with C - then going out for dinner after with another friend before going home and... uploading pics, cleaning, doing laundry...

Um, downtime? Not so much.

Ok, and this has to be the most back and forth lame-ass attempt at a post ever, but well, I'm tired.

Just want it out :) I can talk more about different areas later.

Happy monday... if there is such a thing ;)

friday.

Cause there is no better day of the week.

Because of the way too relaxed week I had last week, this one seemed to fly by.

I have the joy of a busy weekend once again as there's too much going on.

No complaints though, I can't. There's so much fun on the horizon.

Last night was glorious weather. I was going to go home for a nap when I got a text telling me not to be a pansy and go for a nap, and to instead join her for drinks on a patio on the water.

Ah, ok :)

So drinks won out!

I met up with a couple of my friends before Outriggering and went for a short run and mini-workout before jumping into the boats for awhile to train for our competition this weekend. Yep, train twice, a few races this weekend, and hanging out in the sun. Sounds pretty sweet, I think.

Oh and did I mention UFC100?

Fucking stoked! A bunch of us are getting together to watch a bunch of guys pound the shit out of another bunch of guys :)

I know, class.

And I wonder why one of the cuties in my kickboxing told me that I didn't look like I work as a corporate?

Huh... lol!

Really? That's what you do? You don't look corporate...

I know ;) Not in a tanktop and shorts, no makeup and hair pulled back all sweaty, oh and hot mouthguard...

Yet if you saw me at work, you'd never guess I do martial arts :)

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

Hut Ho!

Yep, it's official, ask me to do it, and chances are I will.

C was making fun of me for this on sunday night when he asked what my plans were for this week... ah... Outriggering?

Wow K - I hope you don't expect to meet men there.

Um, thanks buddy, but not why I'm doing it. It's just something I've never tried. Keeping open, remember?

He laughed at me, cause we watched 'Yes Man' a couple of months together and though cheesy, the concept being - don't say no to anything, any opportunity or whatever.

So you're the Yes Man now eh?

Thanks C, you're a peach.

It's a good thing he's cute I tell ya! Ha!

Moving on... I went outriggering.

I met up with a couple of my girlfriends and we trekked out in the rain. So much for my tan lasting and getting sun while paddling a boat... we geared up in rainjackets and long pants and hats ready to hit the water.

Joy. Really.

Even the guy that organized us said that he HATES doing this in the rain - actually, it's the fact that he has to wear a hat and looks about 3 years old.

Strangely enough, he was correct, he did look 3. I said 12, but ya, I was thinking 3 :)

The girls finally arrived and we got a quick lesson in all the Hawaiian jargon, as the boats are Hawaiian (again, it was raining, and too bad we weren't there as I'm thinking I would have enjoyed the lesson more!) - then we headed out. Into the cold wet water. Normally this would have been quite lovely and I'm hoping the weather is glorious for tomorrow... but last night sucked.

Well, it was a great workout and it was fun, but the weather sucked.

I got back to my car with a few messages and when I called back - yes, I was out outriggering and got the same response as I did from C - so if I asked if you wanted to go skydiving without a parachute, you'd be in K?

Ah, well, WITH a parachute, yes, but hey, I figured why not?

I once again got laughed at, but as I type this and can feel it a bit in my arms and back, I'm quite satisfied with the training from last night.

Plus, the girls are fun. And I learned something.

We'll see how I'm feeling after my class tonight...I may be screaming in the boat tomorrow, lol!

So, what did I learn... that some of my friends think I'm insane. Strangely enough, coming more from my guy friends, less from my girlfriends.

Actually - I already knew this. When asked the other day at Muay thai on how I get my arms looking so good, I answered, ah, well I'm here three times a week... and oh, I do pilates... and I train with friends on thursdays, sometimes tuesdays, and do a bunch of pushups, 2 sets of 40, all different, oh and I sometimes run too.

They looked at me, and giggled.

Ya, that did sound insane didn't it. Maybe it motivated them? Probably not, ha!

Granted, I have friends training for Ironman right now, and I think what they do is insane as well - but it's the appreciation for what we're all doing. And I love that I get to try out some of the running training that they do as well. And when I watch them (or at least parts, I mean, it's 12 hours!!!!!) next month, I'll know what they put into it, and I'll toast them on their journey, wine in my hand, ha! And we'll all have eats and drinks after and honestly, I love hearing about the training. I know. Weird.

So, this is why I have no problem saying: Yes man! I'll try it. Why not?

greener?

I spent about a week with three married couples - all at different stages.

The dynamics were quite interesting as we have the newlyweds, the couple who got together mainly cause she was pregnant - and now they've been together for about 12 years, and the long-term marrieds who have almost divorced and dealt with a few indiscretions.

Yep, I was the only single.

I know I've mentioned this before, but it's never been an issue. I did have the opportunity to bring someone and though there were a couple of options for this, I decided to go alone, as it meant better girl-time.

And we got a lot in! If I brought anyone, he'd have to get really comfy with the boys, really quick... and though it wouldn't have been an issue with one, I think it would have been a bit more difficult with the other...

It's funny cause the grass really is greener... Our night out was a good indicator of this, as I'm being hit on, a fair bit, and the girls were encouraging, which was fun, and well, even after being invited back to : I have this great hotel, maybe your friends want to come too?

Um, no, but thanks :) - we all went back to the house where they pulled themselves next to their husbands, and I curled up by myself.

Granted I woke up with the lovely texts (yes, one I gave my number to, since he lives in the city) - 'where you at now?'

- 'wuddup? are you going to call?'

*voicemail*

- 'help me!'

Um, ya. They woke up all hungover next to the men they love, I woke up to that. Needless to say, I will not be having any contact with this guy again... a booty call an hour after I leave the pub? Are you kidding?

But then as we're all sitting out, the one starts complaining about her husband. She complains a lot and I know that there are good reasons for it, but I sorta like to keep the idea of 'happily married' in my head as some day I'd like this too.

Later that night, I hear another couple yelling at each other - just a bit too much booze... lol - the next day it's laughed off, as when you start drinking at noon and don't stop til midnight, sometimes a harsh word or two are taken out of context. She leaned across and kissed her husband on the cheek and he looked at her, rolled his eyes, then smiled and kissed her back.

Maybe it can be ok? Maybe it's worth fighting for?

The struggles that each of these couples have endured has brought them to where they are today - and though sometimes there is still shaky ground, they try.

You see the love and the push they have to keep together and stay strong.

I had a really long talk with one of my friends and she was telling me about some of the issues she's endured and some that the other couple have as well.

It's fascinating.

I was talking to my sister about this the other day too - cause she's in a very VERY good relationship with her husband.

I asked - is it mainly good?

Yep - she says - for the most part, but I do have to talk to him about some of the things he does. It's not all roses, but he also knows he's lucky to have me in his life, and I remind him of this.

Huh.

Really.

Well, actually, not as much 'huh' as 'well that makes sense.'

My sister is a kind and loving, caring individual. All my life my friends have told me how lucky I am to have her as a sister. My guy friends actually all wanted to date her... ya, not so much guys... lol! And yes, my sister is even overweight, but her lovely personality and outlook on life makes her who she is. My mom always worried thinking someone may take advantage of this in her life and when she met her husband, we were all relieved. He's lovely and thinks my sister is the best thing in the entire universe. She gets to be dominant for the first time in her life (seeing as she lived with me her entire life, ha!), and it works for them.

But, she said, it's work.

It's the same work my parents put into their relationship. It takes effort and time and understanding and a helluva lotta work.

I've watched friends settle, I've watched some of those divorce. I've seen struggles and admired those who really worked hard at it - making their relationship even better. I've seen people give up and I've seen some really really bad fights followed up by regret and possible demise. But it's whatever works for those people in the end.

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' when describing the scenarios and the follow ups or even how it all ends. It's based fully and entirely on the couple - with no one else interferring.

At all.

Ever.

Hindsight.

And the lessons I've learned through them and myself will make my relationship that much stronger, and I thank them, for showing me this.

a real vacation

What does a real vacation consist of?

A house on the lake to start... great hosts, great company, too much booze, not enough workouts, and too much food.

Oh, and don't forget sunshine... 30 to 35 every day (90 to 100 for you American's) and clear blue skies.

A boat to take us out to watch fireworks, good company visiting and watching the parades with kids who still get excited about candy being thrown at them from the parade route.

And the mom's sitting in the beer garden.

It was freaking fabulous.

The 5 hour drive was worth it. I pulled in after mild traffic and made my way out. Thank God I brought energy drinks! I hate hate HATE driving. HATE IT! And by myself? worse.

But such is life - I was going to bring the dad with me, but he had to work on the thursday friday and it didn't seem like much of a point inviting him out just for the weekend seeing as we'd be driving back separately yesterday.

So, I did it alone.

And I'm glad I did.

The girls spent a lot of time without the boys - as usual - so he would have had to make quick friends with the boys - which would have been fine - the one husband and him would have totally hit it off - the other... not so much...

Anyways, there was only one real big night out. After being hit on from all directions and dancing up a storm with one super cute guy in general... who literally flipped me around in the air, quite a few times to the point where the bartender told him to keep my feet on the ground, ha! I went home alone, happy, with my girls.

I don't need to go home with random guys to prove that I can get it if I want.

Ya... them... there was another one too. Really seemed nice and stuff until I gave him my number... cause he lives in the city. An hour after we got home, the texts started coming in... and the phone calls... and my ringer was turned off...

Pathetic.

He's already been re-classified in my phone. I won't be answering his texts again. Sorry buddy - you proved to be just the same as the rest.

But thanks for the ego boost - can't lie, it was nice. Even nicer to say 'no.'

We spent a day in the mountains climbing around the family's property, having hot dogs with the kids and recovering from a slight hangover...

More for them than for me. Apparently my reputation is as a very slow drinker, which wasn't that bad seeing as I was the only one not feeling sick the next day, joy, lol!

The following day was incredible. Again, super hot, and the three of us girls were driven around by the mom who was too hungover to drink wine with us :)

We started at one winery and had lunch, and a bunch of wine, then headed to 5 others. We bought, we drank, we laughed, I took pictures, it was spectacular.

That night a few other friends came over and we sat on the lake - jumping in every hour or so to cool off, and drank til the wee hours of the night.

Actually - the whole experience was interesting. I was the only single one up there. Since I've known LS - I've either been in relationships where the guy couldn't come to the family outtings (living in a different city, state or country), or I've been single (the last trip up to the Okanagan I was single as well).

I sat on the dock and was talking to Ls's friend for quite some time. She said I remind her of her sister - different priorities and finally slowing down.

She said she envies part of the life that me and her sister lead and see that we're both growing in a way that is shaping us to move onto that next stage of life.

She says to me: this past year was good for you - I've watched you and seen you grow and it's awesome.

Interesting. But it made sense.

She said a few years back she was having issues of her own and saw a lot of people around her change based on the decisions she was making - some got closer, others gave up on her. She said it hurt to see how some people reacted, but in the end, it was for the best.

Huh.

Ls had similar - I think that's when the two of them became close. I wasn't as close with the friend, but witnessed first-hand Ls's mini-breakdown at the time.

We all have our mini-breakdowns, LOL.

Anyways, it was a good talk. It was a great visit and though some drinking brought out some bits of drama, it was short sweet and put passed us quickly to enjoy the rest of the week.

The wine tour... now that rocked.

I found out when I got home too that the dad's sister is the wine rep for our fav winery :)

Bonus! ha!

Well, at least we can get it for about the same cost as we did up there- and they deliver :)

Coming back yesterday sucked. Reality is far from pretty after spending a week swimming in a lake, getting some colour (off white, ha!), and drinking, relaxing and reading with no worries in the world.

Though i managed to get in at a decent time which enabled me to clean, do all my laundry and even catch dinner and dessert with C.

It was a great eve actually. Great way of ending the week/weekend :)

too busy

I've been told in the past that I have a bad tendency to keep myself slightly too occupied.

I remember a friend from the past telling me that if I don't take some more time out, I'll never meet someone.

I do a lot of activities, I'm aware of this - and through these activities, I have made friends, even relationships, though some of those have been few and far between and in between... there is the Internet dating.

Most recently miss Kris has met an incredible guy on the scary dating site.

She met him and it's been pretty amazing for her - so she's now determined for me to find the same happiness that she has.

I have to admit, when I met her guy, I was shocked cause a) he's UBER hot and b) he's UBER nice.

I feel fortunate to have been lucky enough to get to get to know this guy with her and see how happy she's become - and even throughout her other dating perils - to end up with a guy that is treating her quite well right now.

There is hope :)

Yes, I'm bad for keeping myself occupied. My ex roommate made fun of me when once we tried to make plans and literally I had 2 other things planned right after, and once I realized what I had tried to push into a 5 hour period, I realized I sometimes push just a bit too hard to try and fit it all in.

Again, in the past, this didn't bode well for my dating life and when I finally slowed down, and allowed myself to actually TRY and date more, I had fun, met some nice guys, met some... ah... not so nice guys, and well, ended up just being more 'open' to being in a relationship and eventually got in one - which well, wasn't from meeting online, but I do think that with all the dating I did online, I became more open to everything around me.

My ex roommate came over last night and had some drinks with me and my current roommie after I finished my training (see? busy!).

She's been dating online and has now gone on two dates and has had a great time. She has another one planned later this week and the smile on her face from KNOWING that she's a great person and a wonderful catch and also aware that they are the lucky guys - is pretty sweet. Fortunately she has the confidence which is definitely required in this sort of dating. She's fun, VERY cute, intelligent and unlike some of the horror stories you hear from guys online... she won't stalk you, in fact, you'll want to stalk her.

She has this book called: Are you my boyfriend?

And in it is every cliche-d guy you can think of. In fact, at the time she got it, I was dating Kby and he was actually in it. The younger guy - he laughed as he sort of fit the profile.

Yes, we all date cliches - in fact, we may fit into them as well!

She wants to date them all by the end of the summer. I think that is AWESOME!

The idea of actually putting yourself out there to see if any of them actually end up being nice guys with potential is quite wicked actually.

Plus, most of the guys she's dated in the past are now either married or engaged or almost there - she attracts marriage material, but at the time, she wasn't ready. I think this'll be a great summer for her!

Now when it comes to dating, my current roommate somehow has a bit of a wait-list of men waiting for her affections. I always laugh at this as her 'admirers' seem to come in and out of her life, then wait for her to come back to them. Some, VERY BAD for her, others, sound sweet -though she totally admits that she can dish out the advise and see how it works for some people in their relationships, but when it comes to herself? She sucks at the self-prognosis. She fully admits that and has proven time and time again for this to be true. In every instance of my issues with my ex, or even with dating the few guys I've dated in the past few months, she's called it, every time. I have no idea how she does this - but her predictions way outdo mine and most people's I've seen.

She'll be good to keep in my back pocket ;) And her services are always available, ha!

Kris also has this wickedly fun friend T who's a pro at the online dating. She's fun and cute and also a single mommy and loves going out and doing things and

So, yes, I admit, I'm curious. Kris is determined and I think if I was slightly more excited, I may have actually tried a bit harder - though there is time.

At least I'm more open now though. I've been lucky enough to have a really good guy-friend in my life to keep me occupied for those 'whoa is me' moments that usually coincide with PMS - yes ladies, you know those lovely couple of days where life sucks and you need to have it re-affirmed that yes, you are in fact, great? Ha! Yes, I'm a PRO at that. In fact, the lack of emotional pisses me off to the point that I try to keep myself way too occupied on those days - let's plan 3 different workouts AND drinks after to keep my mind clear! AND if those drinks can be with a cute boy who's always excited to see me, then so be it! Funny how I do the same for him on his bad days :)

Anyways, moving on... dating. Arg, dating.

I admit, I'm not a fan. I've been told in the past that I'm a serial monogamous and I think I am. I sometimes hold on too long thinking - maybe, just MAYBE I will end up liking him more than I do... and other times, first date - I smile my way through it then never return phone calls.

We'll see. I'm allowing myself to be open to anything and everything - which is also why I'm signed up to do so much this summer...

I have a few volunteer things that I have been doing and will be doing later this month. I am apparently on an Outrigger team for a week or two... ah, ya...

I'm still following suit with my new years resolution to be open to everything.

And well, I am.

Granted this week is allllll about me, well sorta :) I leave for a trip to bake in the sunshine up around a lake where wineries sparkle from the hilltops. I'll be with with some amazing friends and we have no set plans. For sure are some Canada Day celebrations, but the rest will be a mix of laying by the lake - spending time on the boat and maybe taking in a winery or two.

Hard eh?

I couldn't be much more excited if I tried.

Maybe I'll come back and want a bit more downtime...

Maybe not ;)

weekend relaxing

The weekend between the trips.

It's nice to just do nothing. My plans kept changing til it ended up being dinner and drinks and catching up before heading out for a few more drinks.

It was nice.

Ex-bf walked in with a girl and sat not far from us. I giggled - should I go warn the girl he's with? ha!

No - apparently you're not allowed to do that... if girls were actually that honest with other girls... I can think of a few people in my life who'd be single instead of having unsuspecting significant others who don't ask questions, don't want answers, and are left in the dark.

I feel sorry for them. But then again, it's not my problem.

Granted, I think life would be easier half the time if we didn't know. If we didn't want to know, didn't ask the questions that seem difficult. Being left in the dark seems good in theory, even though we all know in the end, it's never for the best.

Saturday, training! A lovely sweaty and gross class followed up with some random ground work after followed up with...

a movie and drinks with friends.

Gawd, so nice to just relax. I was supposed to head to the island this weekend for a bbq and visiting, but well, I didn't. I was also supposed to go to a party saturday night, but it fell through. It just ended up making for such a relaxed weekend.

I met up with some friends sunday morning to go watch the 1/2 marathon by my place - after losing everyone and almost giving up, I stumbled upon the first two and got a message from the third. Turned out great!

And the rest of my afternoon I hung out with a friend for sushi and a nice walk around the city, some drinks on a patio, enjoying the sunshine, then headed out for my sunday night dinner.

I liked it.

Just, nice.

I'm trying to slow down. I realized between how tired I've been lately and how much I'm cramming into my weeks that I need to. I ignored some of my phone yesterday and it was nice.

I need to remember that.

I sometimes forget and get addicted to parts of it, the parts I no longer have, getting myself worked up over nothing.

Stop worrying so much K!

Easier said than done :) LOL.

And when I was so used it for so long... it's almost an addiction of it - a really bad one.

My roommate said to me the other day - you really REALLY need to take more time for you.

Stop worry about everyone else... they can fend for themselves, even if they rely on you.

Yep.

I think one of those nature vs nurture things - my mom is a worrier.

LOL - so for today - I will blame her - cause isn't it easier blaming someone than looking at yourself?

Yes, yes it is :)

how can you not address it?

During a chat online yesterday morning - wow, Farrah Fawcett just died.

Another message - do you find it bizzare that we know within 1/2 hour of it happening that she's gone? How does it happen so fast?

No idea.

So sad - she was so ill though.

Text: 3:19pm: Michael Jackson died today of a heart attack!

me: are you serious?

him: yup

I looked up in my ipod touch, checked a bunch of websites and sure enough..

4:10pm: Michael Jackson died around 3:30pm today!

me: I know, I just found out. weird.

I went back to facecrack and it's all over. Messages of mourning, others of irritation that anyone would care that an uncomfirmed child molestor died.

I'm sorry if there is hatred for the guy - but what's the point of talking ill of the dead.

On my car ride over to my friend's place, the only songs they were playing were his. They played : Will you be there

and I admit, it made me cry. I think it's just sad. I don't care what shit he went through, he had a hard life - and I know many people who have suffered in their lives and continually trying to better themselves. Some I know haven't figured their shit out, and I hope they do. I hope they get the help they need, cause I've seen people as adults who haven't addressed their issues - and they are still suffering. I don't pretend to understand how messed up childhoods affect you as mine was pretty normal outside of the large extended and adoption issues in my own.

I got up to my friend J's for a workout and on the way called my mom - she's not on the computer as much and told her the news: What? You're not serious. Wow. He's in a better place now - that poor messed up man - my mom says to me - I hope he gets a fresh start in Heaven.

True true.

I was on the phone when J came out of her house -did you hear?

- what?

- Michael Jackson just died.

She looked at me, stunned - you mean dancer/singer Michael Jackson.

I stiffled a laugh - is there another.

- wow. Really. You sure?

We picked up her friend on the way and we talked about it. J was still walking - talking to herself.

- he's not supposed to die - I was supposed to take my kid to go see him, I was supposed to see him!

Then the conversation turned to: where were you when the following happened?

The death of Princess Diana.

(just finished watching a movie with my first love - turned it off and the pictures on the screen were of the tunnel where her body still was - and it was confirmed - princess diana died)

9-11.

(walking to work when the radio cut out to a newscast of: the world trade centre was just hit with a passenger plane - and when I walked into the office, the bm's assistant ran up to me - come quick the second one was just hit - and we rushed to the tv where we all stood til we were evacuated)

and...

Now -for our generation - where were you when you heard Michael Jackson died?

- in bed, about to have a nap, just got off the phone when my friend texted me 30 seconds later to tell me the news.

He'll be missed.

His music will be missed.

His dancing will be missed.

And one more - a Tribute.

with the rain...

seems to come perspective...

The sun puts a spotlight on the good - the rain makes you think... and some introspection seems to occur...

I'm curious to see what happens next...

There's been much change lately.

How cool

$6.9 Million raised.

1701 riders.

2 days of riding from Vancouver to Seattle - through back roads and happy countrysides.

The experience was incredible.

Brenda and I had to go for a crew-meeting Friday night for a few hours where we met our crew and got some more info, our phones, terrible maps and everything in between - it wasn't much, but we figured that we'd fumble along.

We all did, in a really good and organized way, lol.

Friday night I was out with the roommate and a couple others. We drank martinis til one person puked, lol.

Brenda had work to do as well - we both figured we'd be screwed for sleep, and low and behold, we were.

Fortunately I didn't drink much, but after playing babysitter to the others for another hour or two, many long smoke-induced conversations on the porch...

3am came too early.

As did 3:30.

I headed out 1/2 asleep to meet up with Brenda who was also worse for the wear.

A couple of stops later, we were a bit late, but there was no one there, lol.

So much for organized ;)

We found one guy from our crew and hung out with him until our phones started ringing... yes, here we are.

Our crew left for the border pretty early - we started with 11 vehicles and split up into two groups.

We all waited and saw the first riders and cheered them on. Our crew was so fun.

Brenda and I got in the truck and we headed down.

Our role was to follow the riders and pick up any one who was injured or had any issues. We were to take them to the next pit stop or back and then continue on. There were also people working road-crew which were mainly bike-related, taxis who went from pit to pit picking up people, not always bikes (pretty much they were sweep too for arguments sake - just more direct? Not so much with the directions they gave us...).

The first few hours were quite slow - people were stopped, fixing tires or just standing there - do you need any help?

Nope? They'd give us a big smile - thank us for caring and continue on their way.

Ok. easy.

Then the tired set in - the bikes flats were happening left right and centre and all of a sudden, we were really REALLY busy.

For the most part our job consisted of - do you need help?

Yes? Get in and we'll continue in whatever direction you want.

Sometimes we called the road crew and this cute little truck would magically appear and fix tires and all that sorta thing on the routes.

Sometimes we called a taxi and sometimes our truck was full with three people, three bikes and a lot of complaining about how much their asses hurt - or the lovely roadrash they received from that deadly rail-way crossing (which was sunday...).

Day 1 near the finish we were asked to stop for 15 mins and work a stopsign. Apparently some (ahem, MOST) of the riders just assumed that everyone in the entire world knew that this was going on... ah, no.

Roads were not blocked off, and especially those in rural areas.

Stop signs? What are those?

Brenda helped people across the road while I told them to slow down - as that huge 20 ft x20 ft stopsign meant you have to stop.

Funny that.

It was good - most people were very grateful for the help - oh, stopsign? didn't see it...

ya....

The odd person looked at me as if I were insane - as obviously they saw the sign... riiiiiight.

2.5 hours later and after losing Brenda as my phone was going off every few mins - K, can you and Brenda pick up someone such and such from you...

Ah, I'm wearing a large orange vest waving down riders with a flag - the car is parked. What is more important to you right now?

Eventually we separated and I just asked people to watch very carefully as there have been some major accidents on that intersection.

Oh? really? wow!

No, not really - but you slowed down and paid attention right?

Good.

Eventually a guy on a motorbike kept me company and lent me his jacket as Brenda got lost - again, shitty directions on our instruction manual... - and I was freezing my ass off as 2.5 hours went by and the sun was starting to set.

We made it into camp just before 8pm.

The speeches were just starting and the food was hot, though by the time we got there... no booze.

Um, ya.

The speeches were incredible. I should have brought more tissue. We all lost it - even the guys next to us who looked fairly hard-core.

Tears streaming down our faces as were heard about one of the largest teams who's name was the name of the son who died of cancer before his 3rd birthday - leaving behind his identical twin brother and older sister - and two parents who worked their asses off for almost a year trying to get more time for him.

This was what it was all about.

The top fundraisers got to sleep in the 'Fairmont' tents (nope, didn't see inside, no idea what made them better than our lovely blue ones - i'm guessing nice padding more comfort and warmth) and a very warm thank you from the rest of us who were super impressed - one guy was actually from my firm. I'm assuming his funding came from a lot of guys from the firm... perhaps I'll try that next year... Yep, doing this again for sure.

After dinner and a short meeting, Brenda and I found our team who were being lazy (as they should after riding over 130 km!!!! over 80 miles for you americans ;)) - and we hit the sketchy pub in town. There were a few other riders and crew there, and we made friends with a guy who happens to be the father-in-law with a very good friend of Brenda's. What are the chances???

Cool guy and we finally got our booze on.

We woke up around 5am, got our showers and reluctantly met up with our team - they changed the orders in the sweep - which was fine by us as we now got to get in another 1/2 hour of sleep.

Not quite... after breakfast and running back for a quick nap, my phone started ringing - where are you???

Ah - we're 7 in sweep now, not 4...

Oh, right. Ok, see you guys in an hour...

Another call - ok, we need you.

We were not packed. Should I ignore the phone??? ha!

We managed to get in a few z's before heading on the road and low and behold - finding our leading sweet RIGHT in front of us.

Timing - good.

Sunday was horrible. There was a ton of rain and some hail on the route. Riders were going down left right and centre and we lasted a whole 20 mins before we got a call that sweeps were needed at the pit stop (technically the taxi's job as we were supposed to cover the routes...).

15 people came up to us asking for a ride.

Oh gawd...

Fortunately there were 3 other sweeps and taxis - so most people didn't have to wait long.

We picked up one of the first injuries on the train tracks (25 people went down on that area - super scary - then a crew member was sent out to yell at everyone to walk across - it was seriously that scary) - followed up by stopping for random tire changes that a couple of our injured people actually helped with - we didn't like leaving anyone on the side of the road without help.

After getting lost... twice - and yes, I have HORRIBLE sense of direction - but the fact was - there were 4 - yes 4 - mistakes in the manual - left instead of right, this street instead of that one... and the list continued...

what should have been a 10 min ride took over an hour.

Our guys seemed pretty happy though - leather seats and Russel Peters playing from my ipod, lol.

The laugher insued, even for the first fall victim who couldn't even reach for his cell phone.

At least we entertained.

Eventually we made it to the other places and picked up more people, coordinated others and continued to the finish line.

Though there was less crying than the weekend to end breast cancer - the crowds and cheering was incredible.

Lots of people nursing sore legs and very used up bikes and so many people grateful for the time and energy that was put in.

We grabbed some wine, some food and ended our day. We were called back twice, but as we noticed, the people calling were also finishing their days.

Ok then.

We all hung out and just sat on the grass enjoying the sun and getting lots of 'thank yous' from people we picked up along the way.

"You were the BEST SWEEP EVER!" we got from a couple of drunk guys...

Brenda looks at me - who were they?

Ha! Ya, they all seem to meld together eh? - they were the guys who had a flat and we hung out with them with the injured girl until the bike repair came to fix them.

Riiiiiight.

It was nice to know that we made a difference, even though we weren't riding.

We stayed down for another night and visited with a buddy of hers in Seattle.

After sleeping for over 10 hours, we got up and started to work our way home.

Yep, 10 hours. And let me tell you, sleeping in a hotel was way nicer than tenting - though I wouldn't trade the experience for anything!

I even made it home early enough for a little ass-kicking :)

Ya, cause I don't have enough injuries of my own lately, lol!

The legs are getting more brutalized allllll the time.

Ah well, such is life :)

The breakup... pile

I reluctantly went to a concert last night with Brenda - reluctant cause obviously it started around my bedtime... isn't that always the way for a girl who's in bed around 10pm every night?

Laugh if you will... but just try getting up at 5:30am for a few years and see if 10pm is even early enough :)

Ya...

Ok, moving on...

Workout, then met Brenda downtown where we happily made fun of the patrons around us before heading out to the club.

Show, not bad.

Not totally my type of music, but it was actually decent.

The crowd? Weird.

It was a mix of people from 20 to 50 with all shapes and sizes in between. Which means... we got hit on by a mix of people ranging from 20 to 50 in all shapes and sizes.

Ya... delightful, lol!

Actually - between yawns, I had fun, and Brenda was loving it.

So, it was good.

On my walk back to my car I noticed a pile of something on the ground below an apartment building.

I looked up, and there was some dude smoking on his balcony looking down on me.

There was a book, and a pile of... clothes? I looked closer and saw some feminine products, a bra, some socks...

And the book? Outbreak.

Ya, that was funny!

So, I took a picture. I then left my camera at home, or else I would have posted it, cause well, it was so random, it was funny.

Breakup pile?

By the looks of it - the relationship wasn't long, but just long enough to have feminine products at said boy's house (I'm assuming, cause this was in Trendy neighbourhood... actually in the building that an ex of mine used to live in), including a bra and other random shit.

You know how you hear stories of clothes thrown onto the front lawn or from an overhead balcony into the streets - people yelling at each other and then the expensive stuff gets thrown down - you fucking cheating bastard - and all of that...

I was sorta hoping for that :)

I've never done that personally. I've been furious after breakups, but usually what ends of happening is that I put everything into a pile and throw it to the back of my closet or on the top shelf. Cause in the end, I like having some of the trinkets of the relationship.

And his stuff? As much as it would have been fun to throw shit into a pile and light it on fire (tempting... oh sooooo tempting...) - it's never happened.

Timing, not enough stuff left at the house, or it was me removing my shit.

Curious though - anyone out there happen to have this done to them - or done it to someone else?

singing and dancing

So I tried capoeira last night.

Wow, different.

It was quite the experience. I went with my sensai who's wife has been doing it for about a year now.

Pretty cool moves and kind of fun to try something new. It was beautiful to watch. But it was just

what my sensai told me - frustrating and kind of irritating - just slightly, to say the least. Ha!

That's ok though. I had fun. Though I refused to do the dancing/sparring thing in the end, watching it was pretty cool.

I can definitely appreciate the work and the skill involved.

And... well I'd probably try it again, but I don't think I'll be signing up for this. I like the Muay thai and enjoy

the complexities of those workouts and it's different than the sport-kickboxing I did for the last 5 years.

Plus, there's rumour of my sensai teaching somewhere else again... and training with a few of the people

from my last place...

He's been training at the school that I'm at now and that's been cool - but I'd love to have him teach me full time again.

When it comes down to it - he never had the chance to teach the group of us that were so highly addicted

to his teaching style... even 1/10th of what he wanted.

It's neverending for sure... and that would be the joy of martial arts - you never stop learning.

I'm glad I went though. It was a very cool experience and I couldn't believe how friendly everyone was.

They all went out for drinks at the end to celebrate the homecoming of one of the guys who was away

for about a year. It's a great group of people and they're very welcoming to other people coming into their

world and joining their training and outings.

I liked that part about it for sure.

It was a good end to the day. I really enjoy hanging out with him and his wife - they're fun.

And once again, I'm tired.

Surprise!

Stressed?

I get a text yesterday afternoon - do you think they will be ok with open liquor in the sweep vehicle?

hahahahahaha!

And the next - Can I work while you drive? I'll pay!

Someone's stressed ;)

Her vacation mode is gone.

Mine was gone a long time ago - and I realized as my evening workout plans were slowly cancelled (thank god!!!) and exchanged for a couple hours of walking with 2 friends instead... and a few free hours in the evening... weird.

I forgot how to relax.

I was in absolute agony and I have to admit, the walks were definitely enough for me last night - especially since I have training tonight.

But after I got home, I realized, dinner was the only thing I HAD to do...

Strange.

I haven't been home before 9:30pm for the past few weeks due to other obligations and to have a night off? INSANE I tell ya!

So, I contemplated relaxing - how to do it - what I usually did... It's not winter so for some reason the idea of doing nothing - outside of my beach time, was a bit weird.

Strange isn't it?

We get ourselves so busy and full of things to do that we just forget how to relax?

I have to admit, the booze and advil helped, lol.

I don't even remember what I watched on tv. Obviously not all that interesting - or I just didn't notice.

Need to re-learn to sloooooow down...

Cause it felt good :)

did ya ever think

It was too much?

I'm fucking exhausted.

I got a text today: I may need to drink a lot this weekend. Is open liquore ok in a sweep vehicle?

I love her.

I also loved this one as I was getting ready for bed:

I saw a man on the running trail who is just your type, omg. If I see him again I am asking for his number for you.

I love her too.

What I don't love?

I'm so tired.

I mean, I'm totally doing it to myself.

I met up with one friend for a lovely hilly run before heading off to kickboxing - doing my best to avoid any face contact (not like the black eye needs to be more prominant... only one person tried to rub off the 'makeup under' my eye today - lovely) -and ended up chatting with my sensai who's been coming more often about other training, trying out Capoeira in the near future since I love the tumbling crap.

And the heat? not helping.

So, I can't blame anyone but myself.

Slow down...

A nap is in order. Maybe on my desk today :)

One of my friends called me this morning slightly venting saying that she's becoming resentful for doing so much for other people and not having enough focus on herself. It really got me thinking, especially when she added - honestly K, I have been wondering how you do it.

Me too, lol.

I think the weekend away is going to help a lot. No pressure. No last minute texts or phone calls - you're at the beach? Sweet, i'll be down in 1/2 hour.

Really?

LOL. Ok, I like the visitors, I like having friends who want to spend time with me, but I think lately I've been putting too much into my day.

It's a good thing I only have a fish to worry about - but then again, if I had someone serious in my life as my partner right now, my schedule would change - as it has always done in the past.

Balance.

Need to remember that...

I think we all do :)

Ah, women, ha!

sunshine and other shines...

I don't know if it's the weather or spring fever or what it is, but every weekend has seemed better than the last - people have been unexpectedly friendly and surprising me in one way or another.

My phone has been tied to my ear, to the point where I actually felt slightly rude finishing plan making while out with someone else.

It's been interesting the people I've been meeting through others. Everyone is getting along and everyone is meeting up and we all hang out and it's like my mini circles which I've held close to my heart for years are finally melding, in little bits and pieces and overlapping and swapping. Some of my friends have been hanging out with other people I've known for years and the kinship between them all has been suprisingly fabulous!

They call me the 'social director' and it's pretty sweet having the opportunity to see all these people out having fun, interacting and continually bringing out more people.

It's a new phase I think and I don't know what it is, but I haven't been this happy in my life for quite awhile.

Friday night one of Kris's friends came over for a drink before we made our way out for drinks in the trendy neighbourhood. I threw on the 4 inch heals and was slightly shocked at how comfy they were... at the time :)

We sat down and were instantly approached by some incredibly drunk older sleezy men.

Lovely...

Don't you love that? ha!!

Kris and beau joined us for some eats - and we all headed off to the next place.

Everyone eventually dispursed as I got a phone call from another friend wanting me to meet up with her and a buddy downtown.

Sure!

We headed in and it was awesome!

We had so much fun, wandered and visited and our egos were happily filled by smiles and flirting with random strangers who chatted us up for quite some time.

My friend looks at me: he's so young K, why would he be interested in me?

I laughed - you're asking a girl who had a relationship with someone 8 years her junior???

HA!

Me and my ex had a discussion awhile back on the appeal of the older woman.

When it comes down to it - it's confidence.

Compare us with a 20 year old who hasn't figured their shit out and you can't.

I mean - long term? Ha! Well, not in my case... but sometimes it works if the timing is right - other times, enjoy it while it lasts :)

Great great night!

The next day was a brutal class training.

Sparring? Fuck.

I fully admit, I'm a technical girl. I got my belt mainly based on my ability technically and I need a lot more practice sparring. Well... I wasn't really wanting it that day.

Too bad! 12 rounds with only men including the sensai who's a multi champion was enough to show me that I need some serious work.

Lovely.

And there's nothing like someone coming up to you at the office saying: Hey K, you have a bit of makeup under your eye there...

No... that's not makeup.

My legs look worse. Brutal! Ah well, I'll learn. I hate it, but I do want to improve.

I left and headed to the beach to meet up with the dad and his kidling. We spent the afternoon chatting and visiting and his daughter was enjoying the people watching almost as much as us. He went for a swim and she was asking about my family. She's pretty bright - and as I'm not used to hanging out with 10 year olds - she's pretty intuitive, and I really enjoyed chatting with her.

I ran into an old friend as they were leaving and ended up catching up for another hour before heading out to meet brenda's friend Lee.

We talked for hours, then met up with Brenda for a drink before I headed home.

Early morning workout got me up and I headed out for a brutal hour and a bit workout with three other girls.

It was great!

Plus, car-free day by my house was going on and I ran into the dad and kidling and we hung out for a bit on my way back to the beach.

Then bbq...

then home and laundry.

Joy :)

So many great things, here and there and all around.

I couldn't have asked for a much better weekend if I tried :)

I'm on a boat MF!

Have you seen that on youtube?
Just makes me laugh...
It's summertime :)

moving on...

The beach.
It's my haven.
I headed down yesterday with the roommate where we chatted and caught up on the randomness of slightly questionable communication with a buddy...
the slightly odd communication of a guy she's been seeing... and the insecurities of men in general.
The wanting of approval - when it doesn't matter.
Is spring fever in the air?
The roommie was saying this to me as we left the house - the communication we've both been getting lately from people has been a bit strange.
It's like the extremes are coming out fully this season.
The love and the joy and missing and caring.
The confusion the questions the answers quite fuzzy.

A couple other of my lovely friends joined me later on the beach and the conversation switched from singledom, the questions, no real answers to love and marriage. The one is planning her wedding, the other is planning children.
It's interesting to be at this point in life - having both ends ring out hard and loud.
Friends in happy relationships, others questioning if this is 'it.'
Some moving out long-distance relationships, others falling madly and hard.
Others sick of their singledom and questioning why, others quite happy to stick to single and avoid the drama that seems to follow when they meet someone they are interested in... with and without children to add to the mix...

Spring fever...

the dad came down with his daughter and puppy and my friend's puppy and his played in the grass, casual onlookers giggled and asked to befriend them - one has an english bulldog, the other, a french - they were really cute together...
"Why the fuck aren't you with that guy K?"
The question quite a few people have been asking me lately... I've been hanging out with him a fair bit since the beginning of the year, and though the relationship has not gone anywhere physical - the sparks are there, the connection there, the fear there...
timing still totally and utterly sucks.
I was there at the end of his last 2 relationships, and he was there at the end of my last, and is there for my lovely and terrifying dating stories - he laughs and gives guy advise.
He has this amazing smile and trust me, it hits me how great he is. There is no denying this person is incredible.

He left and B's cousin came down. An interesting fella :) Drag queen and saw some of his pics, WOW, the guy is hot! Ha, loved it. He grabbed the one puppy and said: come to uncle auntie :)
We all laughed.

Later I headed out with Brenda and friend and we talked about the newness of relationships and complications from previous and how they all mix and match.
The friend is in the middle of this non-relationship- relationship. Timing. Chemistry is there and timing, not so much - she looks at me and says my friendship with the dad is way too eerily similar to her relationship with her guy right now... with hers being more physical.
It's funny when something seems to be too easy... we pull away.
I've seen it with friends of mine in the past that pulled away from what was right there and so special and so awesome, questioning and I always wondered why.
Ahhhh, I get it.
Sometimes you miss the rest.
The simplicity of it can be scary.
Oh well! for now, I have this great friendship with an uber cute boy, I think I can handle that :)

And the hangover is just going away... perfect timing for wineclub :)
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!

Limerance

Over the weekend I got to meet a new group, a new cast and crew...

They are such lovely people!

I really enjoying meeting new people, especially in a joyous celebration such as a wedding.

It's spring... brings out so much happiness in people.

I was watching limerance all around, and well, at home too.

One of the girls there at the wedding was known for being the party-girl. The girl who didn't want to settle down - she was negative in her relationships and charished the fact that everytime a new group of hot snowboarders was in town... she'd enjoy her time and move on... as she's gotten older, she didn't seem to really care too much about being single, until one of her close friends got pregnant... then the switch seemed to turn on...

she's now happily dating this guy who everyone says is amazing (I met him, seemed nice enough, and they seem happy beyond happy), and she's in limerance.

Apparently he's not like the assholes she's dated in the past... and maybe this is what she needs to finally get her to settle down?

They all had opinions...

we always all do :)

Two of my good friends are recently attached. Very much in limerance, the new, the exciting, the honeymoon stage that makes the relationship that so exciting in the beginning.

It's seriously awesome to see.

The glimmer in their eyes as they talk about the guys. The happiness, that 'thing' that you don't see too often when one talks about someone new.

I can honestly say I haven't seen this look in either one of them before... and I like it :)

But with that comes the bad - other people saying: slow down, take your time, is this truly what you want, blah blah blah... well...

As much as there is a lot to be said for those types of things...

Does it really matter?

When it's intense on both ends and you're at an age where you know what you want, isn't it nice to know that you can just enjoy the glee? 

I can see how if there's talk of moving in together after a month or two, or the topic of the future comes up before a few months, how perhaps, ah, maybe slow it down?

We've all had the intense relationships where they burn out real fast- the ones that start out real fast. I've had a few of those... started super intense, the connection amazing, the similarities in what we want in life... then a few short months later - what was so hot and heavy burns out.

Yep, it happens.

I remember it well with one guy in particular... the red flags were there... newly single, long term relationship, wasn't going to date - then we met through friends and our first date ended up being super intense and next thing we know... spending a ton of time together, making too many excuses to our friends (sorta... or at least including them) and 3 or 4 months later... fizzled... Granted, he moved a few months after that... and strangely enough, here now, ran into him a few weeks ago... same great eyes... but forgot how short he is... huh. At the time it fulfilled a need in me and sometimes that's what it is.

Other times... it's more.... but how do we know if we don't try?

But I think at this age perhaps we should maybe enjoy it? We don't know where things are going and maybe we should just have fun rather than worry?

Some friends of mine in good long-term relationships have had these sorts of beginnings as well - very intense, very quick and years later, they are happy and healthy and some of them, married, and others in the midst of being engaged.

Ya never know...

It's just good to be open...

Twue Wove

 Mawwiage.  Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today.  Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam... 

Then wove, twue wove, will follow you fowever...

That was the theme of the weekend and especially Saturday.

It was awesome.

Miss L and I left on the friday evening and headed over the boarder to visit a wedding down in a little Bavarian town a few hours from the border.

After some initial outlet shopping, we made it into town for some margaritas and visiting.

The next day was glorious.

The morning rained for about 10 mins and we rushed around to start the day - as our host was in the wedding ceremony.

We headed to a little restaurant where the backdrop was the beautiful  mountains  - slightly topped with snow.

The little town is Bavarian style, all old looking buildings and no neon or bright lights allowed on signs. Even the local McD's is on an old wooden sign, and old music blares through the main square.

L and I headed into town where we tasted some wine from the areas and admired the scenes of tourists running around the square with wine glasses in tow, and little kids running around with icecream and dancing.

It was pretty surreal - to say the least.

We all got dressed up in prom dresses, old wedding dresses, a bridesmaid dress for me (surprise!), did our hair up in inconceivable ways (the height of my hair was insane!) and headed up to the ski hill for the ceremony.

We walked into the forest to a clearing made for putting on plays in the summertime (the sound of music, huh, obviously, lol!), and all stood around, while the bride and groom said their vows which started with the above quote from the movie - the Princess Bride.

The Bride was decked out in huge white angel wings, and the two bridesmaids pulled the groom to his place by putting a dog collar around his neck and pulling him into the centre.

It was short, it was sweet and it made your heart long.

There were tears on all counts as the groom prepared a speech that even moved the justice of the peace to tears - and she had to stop to contain herself.

We headed to the ski-hill where an amazing spread was put before us and we partied :)

Later that night, our host's husband took me and miss L out - big hair and all, for a hip happening night... hahahahahahaahahahahaha!

Ok, not so much. It was beyond amusing though. The outfits, the people, the laughing the singing, the tourists, the regulars... in a town of approximately 2000... the tourists were the main attraction as the locals sat around the outsides and admired, as did we.

The bars were hilarious, the drinks, cheap and our entertainment, tremendous!

Sunday we all headed over to the bride and groom's friend's place for a lovely brunch put on by the bride's son and girlfriend. We all toasted the happy couple with mimosa's - and settled down outside to enjoy the picturesque weather in this beautiful little town.

Later we wandered around the outskirts of town, by the rivers and learned a bit more about this town, as well as our hosts  and ended the day at the local Mexican restaurant where we stuffed our faces and chugged booze and enjoyed the remainder of the wedding and it's patrons.

We headed home yesterday - the sun followed us up as we explored little towns and did some serious shopping on our way home.

It was spectacular.

The entire trip went off without a hitch and we enjoyed ourselves fully.

shoes

One of the girls in my office was talking about some shoes she was looking at... so on my way home from some patio drinking on my way to a bbq, I decided to stop by and check out some of the sales.

Found a cute pair of shoes that are way too high, but kinda fun. Tried them on. Loved them. I saw another girl trying them on too... there was a sale on - buy 1 get 1 40% off... I tried on other shoes, but I only wanted the one.

Me and the girl looked at each other... I said to her - so... are you going to be getting another pair of shoes?

Her : ah no actually - in fact, these are totally out there when it comes to my style...

Me: wanna buy them together and take advantage of the sale?

Her: I was just trying to figure out how to ask you the same thing :)

She's visiting for a month from Australia. Told me about her trip so far.

We quickly made friends, went to the front - the sales lady looked a bit weirded out - we pulled out our credit cards, left the store - and that was it.

Done.

Saved some money.

Went home with heals so tall that I may be able to come up to Kris's shoulders :)

Can't wait to wear them out!!

And that's a great start to the weekend.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!

is he?

Is he gay? - we watch this god-like creature walk across the grass on the beach coming towards us - zero body fat, wearing a normal bathing suit (as this is NOT the norm for a gay man at our beach - as we look around, guys in their undies (not kidding) or super tight man-kinis lay all around us between women who seem quite content being in their company) - then he lays beside us, puts in his earphones and starts reading.

We don't know.

He shifts around a little bit and is laying facing us. His phone goes off, so he's talking on it, and for a second just reads and lays there - in all his 1/2 naked glory.

Her phone starts to ring and she answers: uh huh, ya, oh for sure. Go to the parkade. I'll be the tall blonde - and you'll be the pregnant one, awesome.

Hot guy beside us starts giggling...

It's a business call, but it sounded so much worse from his perspective...

He puts on his earphones, we go back to our chatting, then she leaves.

I decide to stay - to work on my off-white-ness at the beach - slathered in 30 sunscreen... ya, not much getting through, but I do love my beach time...

His phone rings.

He picks up and starts gossiping and laughing... ah, interesting... I don't know many guys who are straight and gossip like that.

A few: really? NO! He didn't say that! Well, I was talking to her the other day and... blah blah blah.

Made me giggle slightly - quietly to myself as I didn't want him catching me.

I turn over and he's watching me...

He catches my eye and slightly smiles, then his phone rings again. Similar converstation.

Amusing for sure.

I love my city :)

and the theme is...

Has anyone out there been to a themed wedding before?

A friend of mine actually threw one. Her husband dressed up as a pirate and I think her dress (as I was not at the wedding... this was about 8 years before I knew her...) was black and red and laced up the front for that 'wench' type affect. She looked hot.

Seriously hot.

I've seen a few on TV and though they've all seemed slightly cheesy - I can see how the idea would be appealing - doing something different, something the bride and groom enjoy and think others may enjoy too.

So... I've been invited to a 'princess bride' themed -type wedding coming up.

The attire is old prom dresses and it's being held in a forest.

I kid you not.

I cannot wait.

I'm looking for accessories now for it - thinking I'll be doing a lovely bridesmaid dress (cause why not! and now it fits even BETTER!) with some gaudy stuff... Granted, found some awesome jewelry for cheap at a store in the mall, but thinking if I'm really going to have fun with this... dollar store will be needed :)

I was telling one of the girls in kickboxing about this last night and one of the younger girls said that even in her prom not too long ago (wow, did that ever make me feel old, ha!), a lot of the girls had hoop skirts, lots of fluff and full princess-style ballgowns that they could barely sit in.

Um, not mine.

My actual grad dresses (yes, had two, one for my boyfriend's and one for mine... his the night before mine... yes I was 17 and could actually handle doing that without having any bad hangovers) were borrowed.

My mom got this gorgeous simple black short dress - satin with a lace overlay and that I wore to my boyfriend's... and mine, a short black and white dress - tight and very cute, with a bow below the boobs and another white strip at the bottom.

I bought a bunch of fun accessories, got some cute shoes and had my hair done differently for each night.

So, no gaudy dress for me... and even then, borrowed - in fact, I know my mom's would probably be too big for me now, and I doubt my stepsister-in-law still has hers...

So, I'm going for big accessories.  Big bawbles around my neck, big hair and a cute dress - a bridesmaid dress, ha!

Hey, you pay $300 for a dress, might as well get some use out of it - plus it's a great dress, I quite like it actually... I've now, in fact, worn it IN three weddings (of which two I was the only attendant as maid-of-honour)

I like the idea of the bride doing it up how she wants it though. Her fiance is this great easy-going guy with a great sense of humour and a huge heart.

I can't wait to see how it's all going to unfold.

I love this city.
I love how I live 7 mins away from this location - walking.
I love how I sat on this beach with Brenda on the weekend and just listened to the waves, the kids playing and how relaxed we both felt.


I love summer and the fact that A taught me that toes in pictures are a good thing :)
And I love my freedom

amazingly busy

I didn't realize how much I had planned and was going on til my weekend started friday afternoon...

I was supposed to hangout with Rich and J friday night, but issues arose and instead I spent more time with the bio-mom who was visiting. Her friend T and her came over and we drank a lovely bottle of wine with my roommate, then the 4 of us headed up to do some shopping (I tried on her sunglasses, she thought they looked great on me and we had to buy matching, LOL! - she's a twin, this is normal to her...). We had a great dinner, then the three of us headed out to a wine bar downtown where Kris called to see if I was around... there was someone with her :)

So, after T pointed out : HEY K! THAT REALLY CUTE GUY (as she's pointing across the room at a guy who is trying to get my attention) - OVER THERE! SEE HIM!?!?!  LOOKS LIKE THE LEAD SINGER OF MARO0N 5 - GO TALK TO HIM!!!!!

Um, thanks and yes, he's looking at me, a lot and he's just trying to get me to come over, but well, ah, ya, no, didn't happen, nor was I interested, lol! I think it gave a bit of reassurance to bio-mom though that yes, your daughter does get hit on - but doesn't necessarily go for everyone who hits on her, LOL!

Kris showed up and we all tried to chat though the loud outweighed conversation and the sparkles in her eyes outshone us - though it was much deserved and much needed and stupidly happy seeing the expression of joy in her face.

Me, bio-mom and T headed to the Newfie bar next where I figured it would be easier to chat. By now bio-mom and friend are 2 sheets to the wind and I'm feeling pretty good too. We get there and the bartender (who Kris and I are now quite friendly with) moves some seats in his direction, grabs us our booze (fuck, he knows mine now... is that a bad thing? ha! Kris, he even remembered I'm the lime- you're the lemon...), and random guy next to me starts talking to me - and when i walk away for a sec, the bio-mom is making friends and telling me I should talk to this guy, she really likes him... ah, thanks :)

Yes, cute. Yes seems nice - yes going to law school in a month or two in NOVA SCOTIA. Sorry - door closed, right there, ha!

Then... the shots... oh gawd.

Bartender pulled a few for us and after we closed the place down, he thought we should go to a local gay bar to go dancing. Of course bio-mom and friend were totally up for this.

Fucking hell... and at this point my sight was starting to go - yes K, you're drunk.

Fortunately the cover was still in place - at 1:30 am... and the next place we were heading just called last call - so that was my queue to leave and the guy who came with us walked the bio-mom and her friend back to the hotel.

Needless to say - saturday morning was slightly rough - though stopping at 2am to pickup food on my way home was a good idea!

They called me in their delighted states of mind (probably still drunk) to tell me it was the best night they've had all year!

Well, good :)

They left later that day after doing a whole day's worth of shopping.

I had plans to head to the beach - but ended up spending a couple of hours with my friend at a movie shoot... kinda boring, but good time for me and her to catch up - haven't had that time to talk for a long time.

Then home, grab supplies and head out for a night at my friend B's.

I got there first and helped set up - martinis, wine, appy's, and fun. A co-worker of mine came (who I just met a month ago and she seemed fun...), and then kris and her friend, later they left and two others showed up - it was great!

Granted, it was slightly embarassing to the new co-worker that she passed out in the corner and missed out on two people coming and going... she called totally freaked out the next day asking what happened, was her drink spiked?

Poor girl. I think she hadn't eaten enough and was just nervous with all the new people.

All and all though, it was a great night - met some new people had some great conversations...

drank some drinks, ate some eats... couldn't have asked for more actually.

Sunday I headed to the beach with Brenda. We drank Strongbow (dry English cider for those who don't know) out of coffee containers and watch the crowd as we laid at the beach and enjoyed the sites and sounds and caught up.

She's smitten. He sounds fabulous. Can't wait to meet him.

It was great though. I missed her a lot.

Dinner plans rounded up the rest of my day.  Nothing like a cute guy making you breakfast for dinner and ending the eve with a movie - and I even managed to get home at a decent time to hear about my roommate's very interesting weekend.

The girl has a social life that most probably pay people to organize.

It's interesting for sure - and well, she's 23, so she should be partying that much!

Fun times :)

Beach day

It was my first day at the beach in awhile... The odd time I'll head down with a book and read and relax and enjoy the beauty of the city I live in, but when the weather finally works...

I grab my bikini, some snacks and water, my i pod and a book and enjoy the sites of a very interesting beach.

Let me start by saying this - I live in what is referred to as the 'gaybourhood.' Needless to say - you see mankinis from every which-way, some are REALLY not worth looking at, others... huh, not bad ;) But you know they aren't looking at you ;)

You have to love the beach for the following:  girls decked out trying to impress the boys (2 girls on one side of me with terrible tattoos and drinking 'secretly' while being quite loud).

Boys decked out, usually with dogs, to attract the girls  (guy beside me with the most adorable husky who just wanted to play and meet people - lots of girls approached him...).

The guys sitting on the benches drinking and hooting and hollaring at all who walk past.

The old men admiring the young girls.

The older women sneering at the young girls.

I texted one friend who was actually across the water from me at another beach... crap, too far, lol! 

I love where I live for this. 8 mins top to get there from my place. The sun was amazing, the breeze minimal and I felt like I was back in Mexico on a beach with no worries in the world.

This is my time and I love every moment of it.

And fortunately I can do this almost every day in the summer.

The beach has always had this affect on me.

Good good :)

I headed off to meet a friend for a work out and three of us ended up at a school doing sprints, laps, some strength and followed it up with an iced cap.

SOOOO tasty :) and so needed!

I headed out for a drink after and though I was out slightly too late, my day was so worth it.

Just feeling way too relaxed lately.

Loving every moment of it.

Ah... happy friday :)

shins

Mine are now lovely and colourful!

I was offered a stupidly kick-ass offer to sign up at 'my new marital arts place' last night... and right after I agreed, it's announced - ok class, shin conditioning!

Really?

REALLY?

Are you freaking serious?

Riiiiiight, they do that here...

The groans throughout the class made it clear that this was not something everyone looked forward to... and well, we went light, cause it hurts.

I'm sorry, but it REALLY hurts. Go try and throw your shin into a cabinet or something. Ya, feels good doesn't it???

I don't know what it is about this place, but I haven't been so comfy for awhile.  Everyone is super welcoming and though the girls sometimes seem scary at first (mainly cause the place is only 10% girls... ya... sweet, lol), everyone has their arms open, hoping to show you something new and exciting and learn from each other.

The sensais don't yell at you - they want to embrace you. Though it has it's formalities (as it should, this is martial arts here), but there is no threatening if you don't want to do something, they don't make fun of you if you can't kick high enough, or do something fancy, and though I wasn't going to sign anything til september or october... the deal is totally worth it. I get to go throughout the summer and pay next to nothing for the first few months.

that makes it worthwhile if other things come up this summer, and yet I can still go if I want!

Did I mention that there are a few cuties in my class? Bonus, though thinking we'll be putting a few restrictions on this time around, ha!

Let's start with age :) hee hee!

And who notices my shins today?  My Administrator looks at me today in my skirt and announces - that's not very girly... as she stifles a giggle.

Ok :) thank you for that :)

In other news... there isn't much :) I get to go to a 'princess bride' themed wedding next weekend which sounds pretty fun actually! It'll be in the middle of a forest, and a friend and I are going from the friday to the monday. I can't wait! Neither can she, lol!

Later in the month, I'm on the crew for a cancer bike ride from here down to the states and back. Going with another friend on that, and spending an extra night in the states to take advantage of being there already - anyone who lives in BC - they are still looking for volunteers and crew:

http://www.conquercancer.ca

I can't believe how busy my summer is becoming and it's barely started. It's pretty cool actually. Friends are coming back from travelling and they've invited me to try some downhill mountain biking for the summer, on top of a few trips here and there.

Ok, the sunshine is distracting... Gotta get some work done so I can get out there and enjoy it!

one day til the weekend... and so much fun stuff on the go...

Random baby

Jess and I went for a quick trip to costco to check out some sunglasses for her and on the way back home after scouring the store (I got this kick ass foldout workout mattress, yes, I'm a geek!), she suggested a walk before the rain started and well, as the mugginess started to take hold, I agreed.

I had a nap - texting my cousin for a bit as she was asking about my weekend and strangely busy antics lately - some with boys... some without...

Then the walk.

She's frustrated with her dating life, but I can see why - this city is difficult. Though friends of mine are in ok relationships, much have settled - to the dismay of other friends who shake their heads every time we hear of all the justification for why she's still with him - others have broken up and we all complain.

We walked around for quite awhile talking about all the things she had planned for meeting guys and they made me laugh - none of those things interested me, though she had a good point for the most part and really? we aren't interested in the same types of guys.

We stopped at the swings in the park and sat beside this couple who thought it would be fun to play like kids the same way.

We admired the families playing on the playground and thought  of our own childhoods, we never had playgrounds like that growing up... would have been very cool.

Then we notice a little blonde haired boy take off running from the play area into the park...

A couple looks at this child and when they notice no mother is taking off after said child... the husband says something to his wife and goes after running baby - Jess and I can still see baby running for another few seconds before he disappears into the trees.

Seriously?

The wife is walking around asking loudly: baby? run-a-way baby?

Her english isn't perfect and she's obviously trying to find the mother.

her own child comes up to her and starts to cry slightly as the wife is still searching for a mother.

At this point a good 5 or 6 mins has passed.

Random baby has disappeared into the park with this random husband following close behind. We can't see them now, but obviously random baby is going to be ok.

Another minute passes and a woman comes from the other side of the playground looking only slightly distraught... ya...

Jess and I continue to swing and we remark how we guess it's true - you only turn your head for a second... though we both agreed, about 7 mins had passed and this woman only had one child with her and no one else.

The mother talks to the wife and she points in the direction of the park - the mother takes off looking - following the path that her random baby took quite a few minutes ago - and on the other side of the washrooms, the husband walks back to the park, hand in hand with random baby.

The wife motions to the mother that her son is on the other side of the building, she goes over, thanks the husband and grabs her child.

I shook my head and Jess remarks: it's going to hit her on her walk home how serious that really was - she hasn't figured it out yet, she doesn't think it's a big deal yet...

The mom goes back to the wife and thanks her so much and puts her running baby in the stroller just below where me and Jess are swinging.

Huh.
She sorta looks slightly embarassed, and takes off with her kid away from the park.

The kid was about 18 months - that stage of running instead of walking and even if you yell at them, they usually don't stop.

She should have been watching.

It sort of made me mad - and though I don't have children of my own, I can't see any of my friends allowing their kid to disappear for around 6 to 7 mins without being watched.

Then again, I don't know for sure.

Jess and I left and talked about a recent baby born from one of our friends.  Her husband is an ass and has been going out with friends while she stays at home with the baby.  it's like they had the child in order to keep her occupied.

It's not the first time I've heard of this and I'm sure not the last...

Then on top of that, I get home and decide to watch the J on and Ka te plus 8 season premier... it was depressing as all hell and put me in a bit of a downer mood. I didn't even want to go training after that...

But I did.

other than the fact that there are a few cute guys in the class, the girls are awesome, though slightly more hard-core than my last gym (to put it lightly...), I had the best surprise when I walked in... my friend said to me - look over there...

My sensai!

I'm sorry for all nerding out on this here, but omg, that made my day. I luv him.  I was beyond excited to see him and he was thrilled I was there.

I told him that I think I can suck up the 20 mins late sleep for the classes and he says to me: this is where you're supposed to be K, this is more your style.

And well - he knows. He's the one who tested me for my belts (though I'm now a white belt again, ha! damn new school, lol!), he knows my style, he knows my fighting, he knows my training and I was just overjoyed to see him.

Felt like home.

And though me and my friend were thrown into a different section of class after the warm up and didn't get to spar with the big boys... ah... ya... I think I was ok with that - spent the rest of the class learning how to elbow someone to the nose and scull and knee them in the face.

Pretty eh? LMAO!

Funny how a few things like that can totally change my mood...

Sleep was great :)